All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
