Only a mothe r could love this liver
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
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They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.