my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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