I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
