you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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