If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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