I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The air was thick with penises
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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