so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
