wanna go halves on a baby?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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