She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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