I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
