What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
