I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
