I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
