So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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