How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
