YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
