are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
