i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
