I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
tell me about the eggs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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