I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
