Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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