Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
