I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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