the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
