So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
