Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
