Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Shame - the story of my life.
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