Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
