i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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