i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize