there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
