She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
