Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
