just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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