It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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