I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
