so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
