So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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