so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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