This is not my ceiling
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
