Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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