Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
