i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
