I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
