I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
