No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
