i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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