Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
