So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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