we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
