Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He? As in you personified your dick?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
