He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
