I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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