I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
