Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
