It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
