All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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