I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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