she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
