If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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