it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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