Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
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It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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