And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
