redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
