he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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