...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
